♥ I'm not sure which is worse; talking compulsively for attention and response, or not talking at all, hoping he'll talk. ♥ I miss how he used to like actually talk to me. ♥ But that's over with, I guess.
♥ Everyone keeps leaving me. ♥ And I have no one left to talk to. ♥ No one has time for me. :(
♥ I think he's sick of me. ♥ Tired of dealing with me. ♥ And I can't blame him. ♥ I'm really horrible. ♥ I even lower myself to this level of letting him know that he can easily make me cry. ♥ And he does. ♥ I say the weakest, stupidest things to him, just in hopes that he might care a little. ♥ But he just brushes them off with a simple word or phrase that just tears me down. ♥ I joke with him about crying and cutting, like I'm not serious. ♥ But so sadly, I am. ♥ I feel like I'm in a continuous emotional car crash, and I can't stop crashing. ♥ I just am so easily affected by him. ♥ I want nothing more than to stop. ♥ But I've already started, so I can't. ♥ I feel like I get caught in these horrible crazes when I like someone. ♥ I just feel awful that Adam has to be the victim. ♥ The crazy part is, I've never even met him. ♥ How can someone you don't even know, have such a profound effect on the way you feel? ♥ In a way, I hope that I hate him when I meet him. ♥ I don't want to feel like this any longer. ♥ But I know even when this ends, it'll start over with someone else. ♥ What is wrong with me? ♥ Why do I let myself inflict so much pain upon myself and another? ♥ I just want a moment of happiness, but I'm only good at bringing myself sadness. ♥ And why is it that the more I care, the less he does, and the less he cares, the more I do? ♥ I should ignore him for a while. ♥ I'm clearly coming across like a needy, whiney attention whore. ♥ And I don't want him to hate me. ♥ I think he likes her, or her, or maybe her. ♥ I wish I wasn't fat, then everyone would love me. ♥ Or if I was pretty. ♥ I hate myself. ♥ But I love hisself.